Friday, January 29, 2010

I've come a long way.

I often reflect on my past and it sometimes bring tears to my eyes. My man tells me to let it go, and I think I have, but somehow there are some memories that are so painful even though I think I am at peace with them they makes me cry.

At the age of twelve my dad (the love of my life) brings home his young wife. Too young to be my mother, just nine years older, and too jealous to see that he can love both of us.

The first set of pain. I love my dad so much I let her win for his happiness.

At the age of fifteen, I met my birth mother for the first time and learn that not everyone that gives birth can be a mother. That year I also went away to boarding school.

At seventeen I was introduced to Jesus (our Lord and Saviour), that is where my real struggles begins. I was looking for something to replace the father that I gave up and he had his hands open saying come and rest, but I was too stubborn.

So I started my journey through life with little or no guide, or so I thought. I fell in love, had two babies and got married. (in that order)

In 1979 I migrated to the USA leaving behind my husband and my babies. Second set of pain.

I travelled some dark and lonely roads but the grace of God kept me going. I was reunited with my family in 1982 where instead of being happy my nightmare started.
Third set of pain.

I could do nothing to please my husband, so in 1984 I had my third and last child.

In 1995 I had to asked my husband to leave our home, and in 1997 I bought my first house for me and the girls. (my son had left home two years earlier)

I was still making bad choices. In 2006 I had my wake up call. Someone that I trust went into my home and stole all my jewlery except what I was wearing. In December of that same year my dad died. It broke my heart because no matter how far away I was, he was still my guy and our love connection was as strong as ever. Years after I left I found out that as far away as I was his wife was still jealous of his love for me.

With all my struggles, the Lord was always at my side even when I did not acknowledged him.

Today I am very happy. The Lord has placed this wonderful person in my life, he loves me and adore me and he loves my children. Now I am involved in my church and is taking baby steps toward a better relationship with God.

Thank the Lord for all my many blessings.

p.s. Through all my struggles I never had the desire to drink or to do drugs. The one thing I would want to do is sing, mostly gospel. Now I sings in a choir at church.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010


My daughter's in-laws are from Haiti, they have lost a few close friends and for a moment a aunt was missing. God be praised, she is found.

For all the people of Haiti, you are in my thoughts and prayers

Monday, January 11, 2010

Subway ride

I know that the subway is a public form of transportation, but can we show some courtesy for each other.

Yes, the seats are made to fit three persons. But if you get on the train and your size is a little bit bigger than average, don't sit on the other person just because there is a space there, it might not be big enough for you. Wait until there is enough room for you to sit with sitting on someone.

I don't think the transit systems was considering the size of the average full figure woman when they were building these trains, because sometimes you have to get up and stand to be comfortable.

Especially in the winter when everyone is wearing one or two extra layers of clothing it is a very tight fit for three persons to sit on one seat.

The other thing that really gets to me is that people don't believe in cleaning their coats. My goodness! I don't know how someone can really gets up in the morning, take a shower, dressed in clean clothes and then put on a dirty smelly coat. Can you imagine the funk?