Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Moving on

Yesterday I cried………….
This is the title of a self-help book I had attempted to read some years ago but got so lost I just put it on my bookshelf to read later.

I was talking to my younger daughter last evening and she was telling me some of what is going on in her father’s (my ex-husband) life. At the end of the conversation I said to her, the next time you talk to your father tell him that he is better off without her (his wife who had just walked out on him).

I said she was of no help to him even when he was sick and needed her, she was missing in action. Therefore move on with life knowing that now he has to fend for himself and not waiting for her to cook his meal or to do whatever a wife does.

My daughter said to me, “I did not expect to hear that from you”, meaning she thought I would be glad for the situation he was in. I told her even though I was hurt and disappointed at the way things turned out for us and all the pain he had put me through, I wish him no harm.
I would never reconcile with him again, he is my past but he is still a person and I have to live with me. I cannot spend the rest of my life being so angry at those who have done me wrong. I will not get pulled back in their mess or let it bough me down.

YESTERDAY I CRIED…….BUT TODAY I AM LAUGHING, not at those who has done me wrong, but for the joy that I have found in letting go of all that stuff.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

"thank you" and "You're welcome"

I grew up in the country in Jamaica and was not accustom to certain things as those who grow up in the big city.

“You’re welcome”, is one of those phase that I never heard until I went to boarding school at the age of fifteen. My principal was a very big English woman (Mrs. Robinson). She was very stern, and rightly so, she had to care for over one hundred and fifty girls from fifteen to eighteen years old, who lives on campus, some of whom has never left home before.

From the first day of orientation she let you know what was expected of you, and saying you are welcome was one of those things. You just don’t ignore a person when the say “thank you”.

But what does it means to say to someone “you’re welcome”? This is what I have come up with; Saying you’re welcome means, I am glad I was able to help, it was no problem, it pleases me to be able to help you, I was happy to be of service, and I am here whenever you needs me.

Today it is one of the phase that I use quite often and with pleasure. One of my many duties is to collect payment from customers and sometimes I have to extend to them a little time for them to make payment and they are always appreciative and say “thank you” (not all customers are like that, some take it for granted that I have no choice but to give them the time). So when I say you’re welcome, I mean, I am glad I was able to give them the time they need and that our company will still continue to service their business
although they are a little behind on making payment.

A lot of times I don’t have to make a second phone call, they call and keep me up to date on when payment is coming, to which I say, thank you for letting me know and they say’ you’re welcome.

It is just courtesy.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Cell Phone Eitquette

Ok, so I am standing on line in the bank and the man behind me was on his phone, which may not have been a problem except for the fact that his phone was so loud I could hear the person at the other end of the phone.

If that was not bad enough, as the teller call “may I help you” to the next person on line, she gets on her phone, and while talking to the teller she kept yapping away on her phone.

All I am saying is, where is your manners? Does technology makes us so insensitive to our fellow human beings. Doesn’t the teller at the bank or any other person we are conducting business with deserve some respect? And some of us do not know how to speak softly on our phone out in public; therefore everyone around you is subjected to your conversation.

It is plain rude and disrespectful for you to be talking to someone in a place of business while yapping on your phone especially if your phone conversation as nothing to do with the person that is standing in front of you and is talking to you.

Call me old fashion, but I think that when we walk into a place of business (at the bank, in the post office, at the doctor’s office or wherever) we should put our cell phone away until we have finish our business. It is not right for someone to keep repeating themselves because we have no manners.

When we give respect, we will get respect in return and everyone can finish with their business that much faster.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Women, stand up for each other!

It is said that New Yorkers mind their own business and don’t get in valve, but in light of what been going on in the news lately I am glad that that statement is not always true.

On my way to work this morning two people came on the train, a male and a younger female and they look as if they had nothing in common.

Another female passenger notice that the man’s behavior was a little inappropriate for two strangers, she quietly asked the young lady if she knew the person standing behind her. She answered that she did, however, instead of the man being happy that someone was there to make sure that his female partner is ok, he got an attitude.

I for one was glad to know that women still look out for each other. If the situation was different she could have had the help she needed right there on the train.

In the last few months, we have seen in the news where an older man take his partner on vacation and now she is missing, a drunk NYC police officer dragged a teacher behind a building and raped her, and the case that the NYC DA’s office just dismissed. All these are signs that we have to stand up for each other when we see something that makes us uncomfortable.

Remember the next time it could be us……..What I am saying is, if you see something, without putting yourself in danger, PLEASE! Say something.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Why am I on trial?.......I'm the victim

Every morning for the last month I listen to the news and I wonder why when a woman is sexually assaulted, they are the ones that go on trial.

For centuries women have been raped and are forced to live with the injustice for fear of being put on trial as is the case now.

The only question should be, did the assault actually take place? And once the doctors have proof and there are DNA evidence, almost everything else should be irrelevant. Women have the right to say who they will or will not be intimate with and when she says no that should be enough….FULL STOP, PEROID, NO QUESTION.

Because a person is poor, does not give anyone the right to abuse them. One’s past should have nothing to do with the fact that they were assaulted and is seeking justice. If the DA’s office throw out this case, what it is saying is that unless your life is squeaky clean, with no transgression in your past or have millions of dollars you are fair game to be assaulted.

So the question now is, How many of us can say there is nothing in our past we wish to erase? I will tell you, None. The good book says “None is righteous, No not one”.

There are hundreds if not thousands of women who have been raped and we never hear about it because they are afraid of their lives being torn apart.

When are men going to realize that women should be honored for their part in the circle of life? Women are the nurturer, the caregivers.

Wealth, power or a person status in life should not determine who gets justice and who does not……..!

Friday, August 12, 2011

Teaching and Sharing by Blogging..........Thank you

Yes, Since I start blogging I have learned a lot, met a few interesting people and visit a few places I have never been. I am not a writer but sometimes I like putting my thoughts in words and share a little of my views.

I have met a special lady on blogspot, she somestime makes me laugh and sometimes makes me cry. I have learned so much from her. She gives it to you raw, no sugar coating which is what we need sometimes.

I just want to tell her to keep doing what she is doing because she has inspired me and I know she has inspired others as well.

I look forward to her post every day even if I don't have time to make a comment. She has shared so much of herself, and sometimes people asked her how could she put so much of her personal stuff on her blog and she always answer with such grace.

In her sharing she as helped so many women who can learn from what she has experienced in life. Sometimes it is as if she is talking to me. So thank you for teaching and for sharing.

Even though we are from different cultures, we have so much of the same values.

I hope you will read this and know that this is your platform from which to help others.

Thank you and be blessed!!!

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Talented ..............or Not?

Talented …….or Not!

The bible says that each and every one of us was given a certain amount of talent. Now it is up to us to use and develop our talent.

I started crocheting at about the age of nine. It was my escape, when I am crocheting the world could fall down around me and I would not know.

As I grow up, I go through spells where I would crochet nonstop anything you could think of, and then I would just stop. This is one of my dry spell, like a writer who would write so many good books and then one day …….nothing.

Within the last two weeks however I have gotten three signs from meeting people on the train crocheting something and tells me that I should go back to Pastor preaching and telling us to use our talents to help others, “even those who crochet should consider teaching others” when I listen to him in church, I was convinced that someone is telling me something.

I have made baby’s blankets, doilies, hats and scarves, embellished t-shirts, sweater, caplets, ponchos and bags just to name some of the things I have done.

For the coming Christmas season I am going to put out a new line for the home, a thirteen piece table set – 6 coasters and mats and one center piece, plus holiday slippers.

So, am I talented…………………., or not…………………….? We'll find out.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

The "F" Word

How many time during the day have you heard the “F” word?
I remember many year ago working in a casual male dominated environment and without exaggerating every few minutes or so I would hear “ the f…ing, or what the f…, or mother f…ing” or some variation there of. It was used as a verb, an adverb, an adjective and sometimes even a noun.

I finally put a bank on my desk and whenever anyone uses that word they would have to put a dollar in the bank. It worked for a while until everyone start complaining about how much they were giving me and sometimes curse more. The boss eventually gave me my own cubicle away from all the cursing. Now I make sure any new employee that are hired knows without a doubt that no cursing is tolerated in the office.

These days I spend a lot of time on the buses and trains to and from work and the young people use the “f” word without prejudice. It makes me cringe sometimes when I hear the cussing and to see where it’s coming from. Young ladies thinks nothing of cussing in public, they thinks it’s cute but it’s not.

When I was growing up adults would actually put bar soap use for washing clothes in the mouths of kids who cures in front of an adult regardless if they were related or not. Some might say that’s harsh but it worked. Girls respect themselves more and the boys respect the girls and the adults always.

Freedom of speech is one thing, but one need to set standards for themselves.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Parent Abuse..........Children Abuse

Too often I hear stories of adult children abusing their elderly parents and we all cry foul. But have we ever stopped to consider the reason why.

Some doctors say that abuse is a learned behavior, if that true, then parents who abuse their children will have abusive in their old age.

Most abusive parent never stops to realize that the seed they are sowing they will reap.
Imagine the following; you have three children, one could do no wrong,( even though he is the devil incarnate) second one is selfish and self-centered, the third just wants to be loved, but is treated like a doormat.

The parent visible mistreats and abuse one child, that child is forced to leave home at a young age and in some cases live in the abuse for a long time. Never get any encouragement or help but somehow they manage to build a life for themselves.

In the meantime mommy and daddy make no provision for their future while living life to the fullest, or illness and misfortune came to knock at their door.

Now mommy and daddy are in need of help. Favorite children are no where to be found (like their parent they are living life and have no place or time for anyone except themselves).

Abused, unloved, mistreated child is called in to help her parents that never take the time to say or do one kind thing to her.
Unable to say no, this child takes on the role of caregiver to her abusive parents, and the only way (at times) to maintain sanity is to repay in kind the treatment that was learned from her parents.

Let us all try to plant good seed so that when it comes time for reaping, we can reap good fruit.

Monday, January 31, 2011



Four days after twenty inches of snow fell on top of twenty two inches that seems as if only days ago ( December 25th) some neighborhoods are still covered with the white stuff. Four lane streets are down to two lanes and two lanes are down to one. Cars are still buried and sidewalks are still covered.

On my way home on Saturday I past a home with the car in the driveway and as I looked around there were about three feet of the white stuff all along the front of the house. All I could think was, they have their work cut out for them. One may think that three feet is not much, but when you have snow pack street with no place for more and you have to clear enough to get a car through, it’s not only a lot but hard work.

That is why sometimes I choose to walk in the street because the sidewalks are not always clear all the way.
I could be walking and thinking that the sidewalk is clear all the way and then you realize that you now have to climb a two or three feet high snowbank because whoever clear that area did not cut a path through the snow and now I am at a snow dead end. I also came upon a sidewalk that is blocked with a car, it’s owner just clear his driveway and park his car so that you climb into the snowbank or turn back to a clear path to the street to go around the car. When you look at the condition in the streets, one would think that we would be more considerate of each other.

When I clean, I always clean to meet my neighbor so that we don’t have a snow dead end. It does not take much, just a few more shovel full and you’re done, trust me, I’ve done it.

The major had said that this is a record breaker for January in NYC for the amount of snow that fall.
There is still snow on the ground, and it’s still icy so …..Be Careful.

Monday, January 10, 2011

It's Me..........

How many times have you answer the phone are listen to v-mail and Hello mother/father etc and hear a too familiar voice say, 'it's me" without leaving their name. Or you calling someone and say 'it's me" without giving your name. I think we are all guilty of this at one time or the other.
This weekend I got just such a voice mail from one of my daughters, "Hi mother, it's me" then proceed to leave her message without leaving her name assuming that I know her voice.

If we assume that the person we are calling recognizes our voice and will know who we are, why then do we say "it's me" and not leave our name.

I sometimes say, it's your mother or to my mother I say " it's your first born child". There is no doubt as to who I am, she can only have one first born or my child can have only one mother.

If we need to affirm who we are why not say, hello, it's Mary or Bob.

Almost everyone in my life have their own distinct voices (except for my son and grandson), I will never mistook their voice for someone else. So just to let you all know I got you at "Hello"