Melancholy

In a modern context, "melancholy" applies only to the mental or emotional symptoms of depression or despondency, From the Greek, melancholia- sadness, from the latin - ludgere to mourn.

Since I am not mourning nor am I mentally ill or depressed, I can therefore say that I am in a state of sadness.  This I hope will soon pass.

The holidays are fast approching and it's makes me sad. Sad because somewhere, somehow I have fail at my most important job.  When I look back, can't seems to find the place where I have made an error, but am I suppose to find it or just move forward and try to do better? This, I ponder.

In 2007 someone went into my home and steal almost all of my jewlery. I spent the next year trying to replace them, but with each new piece I bought I relealize that I cannot replace what was taken away.
Almost everything I had was given to me or purchase for a reason, a birthday, christmas, an opology etc. the new pieces however have no meaning, just a reminder of how selfish and envious people are .  This too makes me sad, not sad for me but for the person who think that they have to steal from someone who trusted them.

So, today I will give a hundred and ten precent to whatever I have to do and maybe I will be rewarded with cheerfulness.

I'm just saying...........

Respect

I don't know if it's because I'm getting older why I am so sensitive to things I have put up with for years.

I can't stand men gets on the trains or buses and have no respect for women.  The seats are already too small but the men just spread out their legs and behave as if they are in their living room with their elbow in your side, their newspaper up in front of them to make sure they can't see what's going on around them. They don't want to see or hear you, it doesn't matter how uncomfortable you are.  Even when there are standing room only, they just rub up so closely.  Very rarely do you see a man gets up to give his seat to a woman, doesn't matter if she is pregnant ( the ladies are the ones getting up), sick or old.

I remember on one of Oprah's show, she had the men in the audience getting up and hugging the ladies and saying they were sorry, (they were been surrogates for all the women who had been hurt by men in their lives). Every time I experience it or see it happened to someone it makes me sad.
Yes, I know that it's public transportation and we should not expect to be as comfortable as if we are home or in a private limo, but I think the men should be a little more respect of female commuters and treats us the way they would like the see their mothers treated.

Time and Cost.

All my crochet items are priced according to the size and the materials I will need to finish the piece.

It's usually  two to three week from date of order to finish and delivery.

My Crochet Dresses and more..

Over the years  from time to time some spark an interest and so for the next months I will concentration on this item and crochet until everyone around me is where or using what I have made.

About six months ago someone asked me to make a sweater for her baby girl and so I started making baby things. This time, however I will not only make baby things, I will make a variety of things.

Everything I make will be for sale, or by special order.

Here is a sample of my latest work.....

Father's Day..................

Why do we celebrate mother's day and barely mention father's day?
Mothers and fathers are both important and should be celebrated.

There are many fathers who has taken on the role of mothers on a daily basis.  Do we show them our appreciation on mother's day? No. Therefore, it is only fitting that we do so on father's day.

For a long time my Dad was also my Mom and when he died in 2006 I felt as if I was an orphan.

Let celebrate our fathers that are still with us and show them our appreciation.

MAKE THIS FATHER'S DAY A VERY SPECIAL ONE FOR HIM!

Are we losing our femininity?

As a young girl growing up, I was taught that a ladies’ under things was not for public viewing. A lady should sit with their legs together and cross at the ankle and always mind your manners (your language) especially in public.
Today, however, all of that is gone to the dogs. Ladies think that it’s fashionable to have bra straps as part of their outer wear and underwear (panties) under the sheerest of dresses or pants. Gone are the days when young ladies wear under slips, appropriate under wears or dresses that cover things that should be shown only in the bedroom.

I remember older ladies would pull us over to tell us that our slip was too long, our bra straps were showing or we need to change our clothes because our under wears were showing through.

These days you dear not say anything to a female, young or otherwise unless you are prepared to be cursed out. As female, we no longer take pride in how we carry ourselves. We think looking trashy is sexy.

Sometimes I see ladies sit on the train or buses with their legs spread, or the language coming from their mouth in a casual conversation is embrassing to see and hear.

The way we talk, walk, and conduct ourselves should be all the sexy that is need to be seen.

I am just saying when too many eyes are on you and too many whistles are blowing at you it’s not always a good thing.

Grand Kids...I can name them all.

A few years ago on mother’s day in church pastor asked all mothers, grandmother and great grandmother to stand up, then he asked all mother only to sit.


I kept on standing and he said, “Angela, are you a grand mother?” I said, yes I am, then he said how many grand kids do you have, I said seven, he said name them.



I did name them but it took me a minute to make sure I did not leave anyone out. I did not expect him to call on me to name my grand kids so I was not prepared. Now I have nine and I must say I can name then all in lest than fifteen seconds.



I love all my grandkids; they are an extension of me. I always try to remember their birthdays and send them a present, not because I have to but just to let them know that I remember and love them.

This week I have two birthdays, my third and fourth grand children, Xavier and Imani, both on May 10th; I remember getting the phone call on the same day.



HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU BOTH.

Do you know the State you live in?

When I came to this country I was twenty two years old. I had left my beautiful Jamaica behind me. Every now and then someone would ask me something specific about my Island paradise and I did not know. I had never visited all the wonderful places and sites that visitors would come to my country to see, therefore I did not know my own country.

I promise myself that, that would not happened again, but due to my business NY life I have not had the time to keep that promise, however, starting this spring I will be on a mission to visit as much sites in New York as I can before leaving this beautiful state. The first place I am going to see is this subway station.

It was built in 1906 and was later abandon in 1945 because no too many people used it and also because of the curve in the station platform there is a gap between the train and platform which makes it a little dangerous.

In 1995 the city planned to turn it into a museum but that plan never gets off the ground. So if you are visiting New York and have the time, take the #6 train to the last stop and stay on and while it makes that loop to go back uptown you will see what only a few people in NY knows about, a piece of NY history that is buried underground, as it is not opened to the public.

Why Color............?

Why Color……….

Who invented hair color and why? As a black woman who is very proud of whom I am, I find myself doing the color thing. At first I said I don’t like to see the black with the little white peeking about here and there, so I color or rinse to hide my them. So I call the grey my highlights.

However I have developed a scalp condition and my hair is getting very thin in the middle of my head. Is this because of all the chemicals I’ve being using over the years? One does not know. I have been to several doctors and still I don’t have a cause or a cure for my problem.

Just this past weekend I went to get my color and “boy!” I’m red, I can never seems to get the right shade of brown I would like since I don’t like jet black, Also, my head itch so bad that at 4am in the morning I was in the bathroom washing it. Now, one would think that I would rather have my night’s rest without the itching than to have my hair color, but like any other addiction I always go back for more.

As soon as a month or so has past my grey start showing themselves, I find all kind of excuse why my head itch so bad the last time (this is not the first time this has happened). Maybe it was the brand or the length of time the chemical stayed in my head. Whatever the cause I always find myself back in the salon to get my color.

For now, I am still trying to decide if I will continue to color, or not? I have seen some really beautiful women with their “salt n pepper” hair that looks just fab.

Mothers and Fathers

Mothers and Fathers

Not because you give birth does not make you a mother and not because you are unable to care for you your child does not make you a bad mother.
Not only because you are a sperm donor, that makes you a father. And just because you are a sperm donor you are a father.

I grew up with my paternal grandmother, aunts and uncles with instruction from my father that if my mother shows up she could visit but she was not allowed to leave with me.
As I get older, I began to wonder why my mother never visit or write when she was living a stone throw away from me.
I started hearing stories of how she visited when I was a wee babe but as per my dad she was not allow to leave with me. However, I was still hurt that she was not in my life. For whatever reason my dad took me to his mom, my mom was angry and decided that she was going to stay out of my life.

Did that make her a bad mother? No, not in itself. When I was fifteen years I was introduced to her and instead of trying to connect with me she tried to destroy the relationship I had with my father. Did this make her a bad mother? As I grew older, it was clear to me that my mother did not love me as she did the others; she had no empathy for me. When I was in my late thirties I went to her to chat, mother to daughter and she started talking about my sisters. I was so hurt I screamed at her, I try to show her how I felt how she made me feel and asked her why she could not accept me just for me. She told me that she had asked God to forgive her and there was nothing she could do for me. That made a bad mother to me! I was hurting at that moment and she did not even try to help.

At this point in my life I did not want anything much from her, just for her to treat me as her child and she could not.
She became a foster mother and was very good at caring for those children, she even asked me for help sometimes (to wash their hair and such).

I have seen many men who took care of children that they did not fathered, and many abandon their own children.

Mothers and fathers are people who are care givers not only to their own flesh and blood children but to all children who are in need.
If you adopt a child and you love them, you are a parent, (mother/father), if you show love to your neighbor’s children you are a mother/father. I have three children, my youngest is twenty eight years old, and still today their schoolmates still calls me mom whenever they meet me in the street.

We could all be mothers and fathers, it’s in us but like a seed that is planted, it we don’t water it, it will not grow. It is up to us to take the gift that the Lord gave us and nurture.

Circumstances may come up and interferes with the natural order of life, but we have to decide who we are and what we want for ourselves and our children.

Looking back at 2011.

2011 was a year with many blessings, some challenges and some pain.

My preemie granddaughter went home after three months in the hospital. I sold my house and bought my retirement home.

We had an earthquake in August and a blizzard in October.
The president had promised to bring home the troops and by the end of December he was making good on that promise. All out troops was out of Iraq.

However, my worst pain was to hear that someone that I love very much thinks that I don't or should I say didn't love them. I have done all I can, went to war and fight their battle, extend myself financially whenever I can and to hear those words, it was hard. However such is life.

I hope that 2012 will be as good a year for me and for YOU.
I have learned that one cannot have good without bad, sweet without bitter and happiness without sorry. We must take the good with the bad.

Moving ahead to see what is in store for this new year.